everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
