That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
