East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
