I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh god the rape fog is back!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
