Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
