If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the condom got lost in my hair
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
