Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I didn't shave. On purpose
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
