it was like his penis was on wheels.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
