also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
