sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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