Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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