Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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