I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
