Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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