Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
