You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
where am i from again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
