you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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