The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
