smell my finger.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
