I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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