Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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