Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
