I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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