This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
