I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
