new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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