Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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