Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
