her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
