I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
