Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
