I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
