I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Never underestimate the power of titties
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
