i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
