i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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