i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
