nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
