Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
