Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
