I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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