and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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