Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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