your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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