his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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