My underwear smells like fireworks.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
