Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
