You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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