i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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