Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
