Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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