It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
